Terrible Bosses

 

  For several years now I've been thinking about the kinds of personalities that climb the ranks to upper management or ownership, and how out of the many jobs I've had in my adult life, more times than not, I've ended up working for terrible bosses.

  The first store manager I ever worked under was only twenty-five at the time, and used to throw objects at you when he'd lose his temper. He once threw a metal ice scoop at my head, then bought me lunch later that day. He also made sexual advances towards the teenage girls that worked there when his pregnant wife, who was also a manager for that company, wasn't around. I was only sixteen at the time and remember him asking me when was I going to get my tits. I was the lucky one for not having noticeable ones or he would have tried to feel me up like I'd seen him do the girls who did.

  I'd like to say I started this off with the worst of all the bosses of my Christmas past, but he was actually quite tame in comparison to some. After becoming a hairstylist, I once worked for a store manager so callous, he only smiled when he was about to belittle you. He expected you to devote seven days a week to the company, had a standard so high- no one could reach it, and once told his highest paid color specialist she could not be excused to go to the hospital after her step daughter had broken an arm because- "she's not even your biological child".

  So the questions I've been asking myself these past years are: Do we mistake asshole qualities for leadership qualities? Or is it simply that people who are highly narcissistic and morally questionable, tend to be the ones who fight the hardest to climb the ranks? Maybe it's both.

  I've been a boss. It never lasts. I don't have the coping skills for it. I can't be consistent, have poor executive functioning, and many other issues that come with being a high functioning autistic person. My low tolerance for passive-aggressive behavior, willful ignorance, entitlement, or extreme laziness- does my head so far in that I become a fairly unpleasant person to work for once I've reached the breaking point.

  No- I don't throw things at people, sexually harass them, or try to make them feel inferior. But I've snapped at them or been too quick to react. The stress is unbearable and I don't like myself once I get to that point, so I have turned down management offers many times, and stepped down from one I never asked for in the first place.

  Here's the difference between me and those other bosses- I'm honest with myself about whether or not I should be in charge of other people. I don't think I'll ever, ever, ever make a great boss. I can be a great mentor or a substitutes teacher... but I could never be a leader full time. I've walked away from the money and the titles. I once walked away from a company that could have made me a very rich hairstylist, because I knew I wouldn't be happy and I could never live with just faking it.

  There's got to be a few things missing in the character make up of a person who keeps climbing the management ladder even after it's evident everyone hates them as a boss. I think one of the most important of whatever those may be, is integrity.