A Love Letter to New Zealand
Written 18/3/19
Dear New Zealand,
I fell in love with the idea of you long before I married my Kiwi husband. You were the island country of my childhood dreams and I couldn’t wait to move there and make you my home forever.
In April of 2015 I moved to Mount Maunganui with an open mind and heart, but not long after, I let fear take root as I faced the many cultural, climate, and living condition challenges that naturally come with living in a new country.
Once fear led to anger, my human brain only wanted to pick out all your flaws and be angry at you. I didn’t want to make friends with your people. I didn’t want to understand your culture. Probably because of the similarities I saw there, not different from my own culture. The racism and intolerance, and shocking ignorance and indifference I saw...
And where was this paradise I was promised? Cold, damp, and mouldy homes that caused my respiratory health to plummet so fast, it left me gasping for air year round.
Then there was the outrageous cost of living and how far away you are from everything; how limited your options. I started feeling trapped and desperate to get out.
The days leading up to my departure in September of 2018, couldn’t go by fast enough. Until...
Something completely unexpected happened. I started thinking about flying away from your beautiful beaches and the lush green that is everywhere across your land, and my heart began to sink. I thought about leaving beautiful Mount Maunganui, where a strong spiritual bond had taken hold of me, and sadness swept over me.
My daughter, who was only four when we moved to New Zealand, and began attending school for the first time in one of your schools....
I thought about how she might begin to forget about hakas, hangis,and some of the Maori language she had learned, and realized I didn’t want her to.
“Sweet as”, a Kiwi expression that used to be an assault to my ears, suddenly made me smile. The Kiwi accent I’d finally gotten used to, was now endearing.
I looked around at my coworkers and realized they were now my friends. Seeing them all help throw a wedding together for my husband and I, in one week, and how they cared so much... made me realize how much I loved these people.
On September the 3rd of 2018, Daniel Roggeveen and I took our vows for the second time in my second home country; New Zealand. I couldn’t be more proud to say that or feel more blessed to have lived there for almost four years of my life.
I didn’t want to love you New Zealand, but you changed my whole life in a way it could never have been changed another way.
You helped change some of my world views while strengthening others.
You helped show me what it’s like to live in a place that still cares about work/life balance. What it’s like to not have to worry about medical bills and whether or not I can afford to take some time off work to regenerate myself and be with my family. Your faith in the honesty of your people is so great, you take fruit and veggies picked from your trees and gardens, and leave them at the end of your driveways with just a box to leave money in.
As a woman, I was able to walk home at night along your footpaths and not have to look over my shoulders the whole way, in fear of being mugged, or sexually assaulted, or worse. As a mother, I didn’t have to fear my child being shot and killed in your schools.
You gave me an extraordinary man who if he weren’t a Kiwi, and didn’t live his whole life on your soil, would not be the man for me. To reject you would be to reject the love of my life.
And how could I do such a thing?
So in light of the tragedy that has happened in recent days, I feel the need to reach out to you from my own country, the United States of America, to tell you how much my heart is breaking for you.
To tell you how every article I read and every haka I watch brings me to tears.
I am grieving.
Not because I know what it feels like to live through such atrocities in my own country, but because a spiritual cord from your shores and your soil, is still attached to my soul. And because I know the difference between your country and mine.
Your country is by far less violent than my own. Your people do not understand my country’s refusal to change ancient amendments in order to make it a safer place for its people.
I know your innocence and your heart, and how this act of terror finally reaching your distant shores, has stolen something from you that my country lost long ago.
I feel helpless from so far away. What can I do for you in your time of need? What could my words possibly do to soothe you in your darkest hour?
All I can do is write you this love letter. All I can do is tell you I’m crying for you every day. All I can say to you is that I love you New Zealand and that I’m so proud of what you’re doing to heal your people, the way only you know how to do.
🇳🇿
Dear New Zealand,
I fell in love with the idea of you long before I married my Kiwi husband. You were the island country of my childhood dreams and I couldn’t wait to move there and make you my home forever.
In April of 2015 I moved to Mount Maunganui with an open mind and heart, but not long after, I let fear take root as I faced the many cultural, climate, and living condition challenges that naturally come with living in a new country.
Once fear led to anger, my human brain only wanted to pick out all your flaws and be angry at you. I didn’t want to make friends with your people. I didn’t want to understand your culture. Probably because of the similarities I saw there, not different from my own culture. The racism and intolerance, and shocking ignorance and indifference I saw...
And where was this paradise I was promised? Cold, damp, and mouldy homes that caused my respiratory health to plummet so fast, it left me gasping for air year round.
Then there was the outrageous cost of living and how far away you are from everything; how limited your options. I started feeling trapped and desperate to get out.
The days leading up to my departure in September of 2018, couldn’t go by fast enough. Until...
Something completely unexpected happened. I started thinking about flying away from your beautiful beaches and the lush green that is everywhere across your land, and my heart began to sink. I thought about leaving beautiful Mount Maunganui, where a strong spiritual bond had taken hold of me, and sadness swept over me.
My daughter, who was only four when we moved to New Zealand, and began attending school for the first time in one of your schools....
I thought about how she might begin to forget about hakas, hangis,and some of the Maori language she had learned, and realized I didn’t want her to.
“Sweet as”, a Kiwi expression that used to be an assault to my ears, suddenly made me smile. The Kiwi accent I’d finally gotten used to, was now endearing.
I looked around at my coworkers and realized they were now my friends. Seeing them all help throw a wedding together for my husband and I, in one week, and how they cared so much... made me realize how much I loved these people.
On September the 3rd of 2018, Daniel Roggeveen and I took our vows for the second time in my second home country; New Zealand. I couldn’t be more proud to say that or feel more blessed to have lived there for almost four years of my life.
I didn’t want to love you New Zealand, but you changed my whole life in a way it could never have been changed another way.
You helped change some of my world views while strengthening others.
You helped show me what it’s like to live in a place that still cares about work/life balance. What it’s like to not have to worry about medical bills and whether or not I can afford to take some time off work to regenerate myself and be with my family. Your faith in the honesty of your people is so great, you take fruit and veggies picked from your trees and gardens, and leave them at the end of your driveways with just a box to leave money in.
As a woman, I was able to walk home at night along your footpaths and not have to look over my shoulders the whole way, in fear of being mugged, or sexually assaulted, or worse. As a mother, I didn’t have to fear my child being shot and killed in your schools.
You gave me an extraordinary man who if he weren’t a Kiwi, and didn’t live his whole life on your soil, would not be the man for me. To reject you would be to reject the love of my life.
And how could I do such a thing?
So in light of the tragedy that has happened in recent days, I feel the need to reach out to you from my own country, the United States of America, to tell you how much my heart is breaking for you.
To tell you how every article I read and every haka I watch brings me to tears.
I am grieving.
Not because I know what it feels like to live through such atrocities in my own country, but because a spiritual cord from your shores and your soil, is still attached to my soul. And because I know the difference between your country and mine.
Your country is by far less violent than my own. Your people do not understand my country’s refusal to change ancient amendments in order to make it a safer place for its people.
I know your innocence and your heart, and how this act of terror finally reaching your distant shores, has stolen something from you that my country lost long ago.
I feel helpless from so far away. What can I do for you in your time of need? What could my words possibly do to soothe you in your darkest hour?
All I can do is write you this love letter. All I can do is tell you I’m crying for you every day. All I can say to you is that I love you New Zealand and that I’m so proud of what you’re doing to heal your people, the way only you know how to do.
🇳🇿
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