Five minutes to ten... I think I'm going to come out of my skin if I have to be here one more hour, waiting for that megalomaniac to finish his fucking client! At this point I hate how loud he talks. I hate his celebrity clients that I wish I'd never met, and I hate my position in their world. The phone rings. Probably another entitled prick! I say to myself. Unexpectedly, it's a man's voice on the other line. He's making an appointment for his boss, who works for a major production company. I'd be lying if I said that didn't excite me a little. I've only been living out here for five months, and the place I moved here from is nothing glamorous. Probably never will be. He tells me I'm the nicest person he's talked to all day. I'm not surprised. Many people here freak out on me for shit I think makes me seem ordinary. They can't believe I'm not rail thin with an eating disorder, or that I don't care about dressing to the ...
Hansa bosbach (@Workinghans), from the Twitter Writing Community, asked me this dreaded question: What does happiness look like to you? I had to think about this one for a while. It hasn't been easy to find my natural voice to write the answer to this. How does one who's lived a terrible life for so long, answer such a question? I've had to rewrite it several times. I hate this fucking question! It's worse than when people ask me where I see myself in five years. I almost blew the most recent interview I did when they asked me that question, because I told them I can't see myself in five years. It hurts my brain to even try. They also asked me: What gets you out of bed in the morning? I have to pee, you fucking twat! And so that sets the tone for how I plan to answer what happiness looks like to me. It doesn't look like anything. I'm just now learning happiness for the first time in my life, and it's so fleeting, it's like chasi...
From the time I entered school at five years old, I knew I wasn't like other children. Not a very original line, I know... but true nonetheless. I had to watch very carefully what my classmates were doing in order to get through a day of lessons and even just at playtime. Studies suggest that autistic girls slip through the cracks undetected because they become master chameleons. And that may work for a while, with casual encounters, but eventually your cover gets blown once things start to get more personal. Your friends will notice strange habits you have, or feel their boundaries being crossed, or you'll hurt them in ways that frighten them. My first week in Kindergarten, I sat at a round table with a few other children, coloring on construction paper. I noticed the other kids had these really fat crayons, where mine were the regular skinny kind. A pang of envy surfaced and I couldn't help but feel like the oddball at the table. But what's more; t...
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