Five minutes to ten... I think I'm going to come out of my skin if I have to be here one more hour, waiting for that megalomaniac to finish his fucking client! At this point I hate how loud he talks. I hate his celebrity clients that I wish I'd never met, and I hate my position in their world. The phone rings. Probably another entitled prick! I say to myself. Unexpectedly, it's a man's voice on the other line. He's making an appointment for his boss, who works for a major production company. I'd be lying if I said that didn't excite me a little. I've only been living out here for five months, and the place I moved here from is nothing glamorous. Probably never will be. He tells me I'm the nicest person he's talked to all day. I'm not surprised. Many people here freak out on me for shit I think makes me seem ordinary. They can't believe I'm not rail thin with an eating disorder, or that I don't care about dressing to the ...
Hansa bosbach (@Workinghans), from the Twitter Writing Community, asked me this dreaded question: What does happiness look like to you? I had to think about this one for a while. It hasn't been easy to find my natural voice to write the answer to this. How does one who's lived a terrible life for so long, answer such a question? I've had to rewrite it several times. I hate this fucking question! It's worse than when people ask me where I see myself in five years. I almost blew the most recent interview I did when they asked me that question, because I told them I can't see myself in five years. It hurts my brain to even try. They also asked me: What gets you out of bed in the morning? I have to pee, you fucking twat! And so that sets the tone for how I plan to answer what happiness looks like to me. It doesn't look like anything. I'm just now learning happiness for the first time in my life, and it's so fleeting, it's like chasi...
Ugh... here's a trigger that I fear will only get worse with age. Repetitious speech patters and/or lyrics! Funny for an aspie to feel that way. You may not understand why I just said that unless you have enough knowledge on autism to make the connection that autistic people can be very repetitious with their speech. I'm not one of those aspies though, or at least, I don't perceive myself to be (LOL). I don't take a word I've just learned from my 'Word of the Day' calendar and start using it an obnoxious number of times per day, or incorporate fad words and phrases into my vocabulary as soon as it becomes trendy, then abuse the shit out of them. If I do use popular culture in any manner of my being, it's usually done in a playful, mocking, or child-like tone. I still have never used "said no one ever" (other than writing it just now) or "Not!" when being sarcastic. Can you believe there are still people who say "No...
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